Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last Month I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as Bachelor Nights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, and Outings 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t Seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the ‘uninstall’ doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!


“A Troubled User”

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Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! !

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Do Laundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system
to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Thanks & Regards

tech support

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At 2:22 pm, Blogger AkS said...


At 2:48 pm, Blogger BlackRose said...

"I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation."


The statutory warning..hilarious.

At 1:13 pm, Blogger BMK said...

in extreme situation, what about switching the OS, windows to linux; remember u r allowed 4 options. :p

At 1:16 pm, Blogger Tauqeer said...

Hmm probably...yes...but you will still need compatible to hardware different OS!

Are you aware of virtual machines these days? :P

At 9:37 pm, Blogger SAMMb said...

hahah nice.

At 5:36 pm, Anonymous Meher said...

Nayi post kab lagay gi?

At 7:41 pm, Blogger Tauqeer said...

hmmm... koi idea koi hint? my mind out of topics...

At 6:17 pm, Anonymous Meher said...

How about all the weddings you have been attending in Pakistan? How about any interesting experiences at the airports? On the flights? :O

At 7:45 am, Blogger Tauqeer said...

Haha, Khud you are away from your blog!!!

At 10:45 am, Anonymous Nayni said...



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