Sunday, July 10, 2005

Kuwait and Me :)

Ok here I am, just came from work, night shift, was hard because I'm still suffering from Hay fever[ its been for more than 20 days now :( ]. During my bus ride [ just 10 minutes though], my thoughts were mostly occupied by single question; what's all this going on?. How come I have changed so much? All my priorities, habits, my principles!, it all concluded to one fact, yes I have lost my childhood. What else could be the tragedy, I have lost part of my life! Well may be not, its all in my memories, a sweet memories still cherish me in lonely times, as like now.

Yeah it was Kuwait, my birthplace. Whatever people say about Kuwait/Arabs, the word Kuwait still brings a seldom smile to my face. The moment I think about it, my soul travel years back when we had nothing much to worry about, at time school homework was like the-task-impossible. All those Friday morning cartoons [in Arabic] and internet fantasy during twilights were the ultimate source of fun [ actually still it hasn't changed much, Simpsons { oops } ]. I wish I could change the time back, I want to see that bird we buried downstairs our building [ me 2 sisters involved kasam se(A) ], my lovely home! , and the mosque where I prayed so much to get good marks for metric exams. May be, its not possible, but it would be really satisfying to know the people I share my childhood with do remember all those times as I do [ my sisters; will find soon, going to Pakistan 1'st week august inshAllah ].

What shall I do now? Possibly the hardest of decisions coming ahead. I have finished my degree now, tried my best to go back to Kuwait but with little luck. Everybody wants to me stay for at least a couple of years more to get work experience. I do remember mum saying: "Tauqeer sanu tay buss tera intezar hai, tu jaldi parhayee khatam kerke wapis aaja" [ Tauqeer we are just waiting for you, finish your studies and come back soon ], whereas she has changed now as well, telling me : "Tauqeer jo behter samajhna hay, ohi ker, pakistan keri koi achi jobs mildi hai aj kal" [ Tauqeer do as you wish, u know its hard to find good jobs in Pakistan these days ]. Leaving me in limbo now, well my choices are limited to get into masters degree or find a proper job. So both of the works are under process, May Allah help me get through this difficult decision moments.

Well may be I was missing someone here, my mum, my sisters, my dad or someone else, all I know now is, memories are great. My past is the foundation of my future, I just need to concentrate on things which should be done now [Tauqeer remember this:@]. Lets see what next weeks bring forward, as I do hope for some success.

Fe Aman Allah